


breathe / amber liu x reader

by kimhyunas



Category: f(x)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 11:25:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 13,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15605247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimhyunas/pseuds/kimhyunas
Summary: "breathe, don't speak.""someone help me."-amber liu is in love with you but you're in an unhappy relationship with the most popular girl around, krystal jung.(tw: abuse, jess & krys are twins in this!, this is also on my wattpad (hyunastan) + asianfanfics (ilovkimhyuna)!)





	1. Chapter 1

01: amber and your girlfriend share a mutual feeling of hate for each other and jongin is a dick 

 

 

 

amber thought she was beautiful, so beautiful. the way she tilted her head as she laughed, the one dimple on her cheek, every single thing about her was so beautiful. and amber wanted to capture that beautiful-ness, but how could she when she didn't even know how to describe it? 

amber wished she could be the one holding her hand, taking her on dates, telling her silly jokes ㅡ not krystal. but what could she do? krystal was loved by everyone, loved and hated at the same time. and amber? she was just that random lesbian on the basketball team who always walked around with a camera. 

"at least you're her friend!" luna told her on the way to maths, baraging past some freshman. "that's a start!" 

"in case you forgot," amber took her seat in the classroom, inbetween you and luna. "she's dating jung soojung, the most popular girl here ㅡ the one that hates me." 

"stop doing that!" victoria came in, winking at her girlfriend, jinri. "that thing, you know when you say their surname first? it's weird." 

amber rolled her eyes, pushing some hair out of her eyes as you walked into the classroom. her heart started racing, you were literally in your school uniform but amber thought you looked like angel who just dropped down from heaven, gracing the world with your presence. 

"you're staring." luna whispered, taking a sip of her water. "krystal is glaring." 

amber snuck a look at the girl holding your hand and could see her narrowing eyes and the scowl on her face, directed at amber. she quickly pulled out her book from her bag and began writing, hoping the teacher would come in and start the lesson now. but things that amber hoped for never seemed to happen, not right away anyways. 

"you." krystal's light voice was sharp and amber knew she was talking to her. "stop staring at my girlfriend before i give you a reason to stop." 

the class was silent and amber didn't look up, trying her best to fight back the tears that were threatening to spill. she heard your voice but couldn't make out the words you were saying. she probably thinks i'm a weirdo anyways, amber thought, furiously wiping away her tears as you sat down in your seat. 

"amber." you whispered, poking her lightly. "are you crying? please don't cry. i know soojung can be bitchy sometimes, please just ignore her." 

amber didn't say a word, she was too busy trying to clear up the tears that had spilled on her book without making a big stain. you sighed, wrapping your arms around her before pulling out your own book. 

"hello, students." now the teacher decided to come in. "page seventy, you know where to start. continue from where you stopped." 

luna and the boy next to her, jongin, began working together on the textbook in front of them. and amber turned to you, nervously looking up. you were staring right at her and when she caught your glance you laughed, and for the first time that lesson, amber smiled. 

"i got up to question three last time. you?" you flipped through the pages, reaching page seventeen. 

"four. but i'm stuck in question five, how does she get fifty four if there are only twenty three in the first place?" amber pointed at the question with a frown, and you laughed again. 

god, she was cute. 

you coughed, catching a quizzical krystal's gaze, and quickly returning to your book. however much you loved your girlfriend, you couldn't deny she was annoying when she got jealous. another girl even breathing in your direction made her scream, but when soojung flirted with other girls [and boys] it was 'nothing much' and you were 'being paranoid'. 

yeah, i wasn't being paranoid when i walked in on you and jongin, you thought ㅡ taking a second to glare at the handsome boy sitting on your table. even now he was flirting with girls as he continued to chat up an annoyed luna. 

he caught your gaze and winked making you roll your eyes, god that fucker was annoying. you bit your lip and turned to amber, quickly coping the answer for question four before helping her out with question five. the sparkle in her eyes as she finally understood the question, that sparkle made your stomach tighten. 

you quickly shook your head, this wasn't right. this was unacceptable, you were in love with krystal, you were dating krystal, you were in a happy relationship with krystal jung. 

at least that's what you told yourself. 

you were the perfect high school couple, but you wished every one saw the truth behind your realtionship. the real krystal, the one you saw behind closed doors ㅡ the krystal who made you feel worthless, unloved and unwanted. that krystal only came out to play when you were alone, when another human appeared she was back to amazing girlfriend!soojung. 

you didn't know when exactly it happened but soon enough you just fell out of love with krystal. leaving her was not an option though, this was krystal jung. she did all the dumping, and you were sure she wasn't getting tired of you soon enough. 

you let out a small sigh, flicking back through your book for an explanation to question seven. you could feel amber watching you, so you turned your back to her, not wanting to talk. 

"are you okay?" amber whispered, her hand softly rubbing your back. "you don't look ok. are you feeling well? is there something you want to talk about?" 

yeah, you laughed, my girlfriend who loves me one day and accuses me of cheating the next just because i waved at my best friend. the fact everyone thinks i'm in some perfect realtionship with a loving girlfriend when the last time she told me she loved me was seven months ago. the fact i'm in love with you and you're in love with me but we both know krystal would kill us if she ever found out. 

but instead of saying that you just shook your head, mumbling something about a cold. 

"don't do that whole rubbing back thing." you whispered. "soojung doesn't like it, i'm sorry." 

a look of understanding flashed through amber's eyes and for a second you saw a glimpse of anger in her eyes but it quickly vanished and she nodded. she started up a conversation with luna about the band they were in and jongin joined, mentioning he could play the piano. 

"oh, really?" you butted in, already tired of this boy. "so can i, and i know i play it better than you." 

jongin tilted his head to the side, a habit he started up recently. the corners of his mouth formed into a smirk, and he flicked his golden brown hair backwards. 

"oh. want a contest?" jongin let out in a throaty drawl. "even if you're better i'll win, the girls and the boys all love me." 

"really?" you laughed, but now you meant business. "that's not what i hear in the locker room. still busy cheating on your girlfriend?" 

amber and luna both froze, the once light and airy conversation had now taken a sharp turn. things were getting serious. jongin bit his tounge and you smirked, thinking you had won. 

"yeah, with your girlfriend." jongin laughed, bringing up the time you had caught him and krystal going at it in the locker room. "her moans are really pretty." 

amber swore under her breath and the whole front row turned around. taeyeon and tiffany, the two girls in front of you, stopped flirting and discreetly pulled out their phones ㅡ planning to capture every moment and upload it online. 

"not as pretty as your girlfriend's." you hissed, wanting to knock that smile off his face. "what was her name? jiyoon, right? couldn't remember since she spent most of the night screaming my name." 

krystal whipped around, suddenly seeing the scene in front of her. she made a movement to get up but her twin sister, jessica, held her back. 

"repeat that again, bitch." jongin stood to his full height. "want to take this outside?" 

"where i can show you photos of the great night me and your pretty girlfriend had together? sure." you smiled, standing up too and picking up your bag. 

"you did what?" krystal screeched, as taeyeon and tiffany turned to film her. 

your heart started racing, stuck in a daydream you had forgotten krystal existed and foolishly, you had uttered words that would lead you to trouble. the anger in krystal's eyes was evident and you already knew of the storm that was coming. next to her jessica sighed, knowing what was going to happen. the bruises that you received tonight were really going to leave a mark. 

"nothing," you managed to speak, but not make eye contact with soojung. "i was just kidding. we were kidding, weren't we jongin?" 

the smirking boy's forehead was furrowed, as he was trying to work what was happening. you begged him to nod, as you stood there looking like some weak fool. thankfully he nodded and you knew that the bruises tonight were going to sting, but not as much as you thought they were. 

jessica let out a sigh of relief, tonight she wouldn't have to clean you up as you sobbed into her chest. tonight she wouldn't have to tell you to leave her sister and find someone who actually cared. tonight maybe she'd get some sleep without thinking of the pain her twin sister was inflicting on people. 

taeyeon and tiffany sighed, putting away their phones, knowing the fight was over. the class returned to it's normal state and the two students sat down, one was very confused and the other was already thinking of what they were going to have pretend to say to their parents about the punches they were going to get tonight.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 02: krystal makes sure you know who your girlfriend is and luna finds jessica hot

"pass me the water, please." amber begged of jinri, as she tried to push the thoughts that had been plaguing her all day away from her mind and focus on her friends. 

she quickly glanced at the middle table and saw jessica and you whispering to each other ㅡ on one hand jessica looked absolutely furious while you looked like you could care less. amber bit her tounge and flashed a smile when she caught your eye but you quickly turned around, planting a kiss on krystal's cheek. 

"what?" amber mumbled, feeling as if she was going to throw up the food she just ate. 

amber was determined to find out what was going on, because she knew it was right. you seemed, she didn't how to explain it properly, afraid of krystal, like the way a victim is scared of their bully. when krystal spoke in class all signs of feelings in your eyes were replaced with fear and amber found that suspicious ㅡ why were you afraid of your girlfriend? 

she caught your eye again but this time it was amber who broke the gaze, not you. amber picked up her glass and gulped the water down, she wanted nothing more to go over to the table you were sitting at and ask you what the hell was wrong. but obviously that wasn't going to happen, so she was now going to drink her feelings away ㅡ with water. 

"are you trying to get drunk, with water?" victoria asked, pulling the water jug away from amber. "you're going to be sick if you don't stop." 

"thanks mom." amber rolled her eyes, she just wanted this day to be over. 

back at your table krystal was leaning on your shoulder, an event that hadn't occurred in months. her arms were around your waist, but not in a loving away, as if she was trying to stop you from escaping. jessica sat in front of you, twirling her hair as she sent you texts, narrowing her eyes when she saw you switching her phone off. 

"shit, is that the time?" krystal stood up, pushing away her plate. "i've got an extra class ㅡ come on, let's go." 

she grabbed your hand and you left the crowded canteen, you saw jessica standing up and walking over to amber's table. you caught luna looking confused, and then blushing as jessica waved at her. you made movement to stop but krystal's nails dug into your skin, making you wince in pain. 

"hurry up." she hissed, her voice laced with venom. "or it's going to get worse for you." 

you bit back tears, trying to put a smile on your face as you were pulled down the corridor. you sighed as she took you into the same room where you first met, where you first confessed your feelings to each other, and where she first hit you. 

"now, bitch, would you like to discuss what happened in maths?" 

-

"you live near me, don't you?" jessica poked amber, as the younger girl nodded. "you have a mouth, please speak." 

amber bit her cheek, jessica was a lot like her sister but a lot more nice ㅡ and she didn't hate amber, but that was just an added bonus. when she first came to sit down the table was silent until she told everyone to start talking, and slowly the conversation returned. 

"not trying to be rude, but why exactly are you here?" amber asked. 

jessica laughed, "krystal's gone and i'm not allowed to come. or do you not want me here? i'm certain your friend, luna, does." 

they both looked at the short girl sitting opposite them, her whole face was red and she was staring intently at the table. jessica laughed again, mumbling something about how cute she was, and amber didn't understand how her and krystal were related. 

"look, i know this none of my business but what is going on between them?" amber whispered, so nobody else on the table could hear. 

jessica was now pulling a luna, and looking at the table, obviously not wanting to say anything. amber was now more worried, confused and suspicious then ever.

"i'm sorry, i just can't say." jessica shook her head, leaving her seat to go and sit next to luna. 

-

"you are my girlfriend. forget that and i'll make sure you don't wake up." krystal hissed, picking up her bag and leaving the room. 

and you. 

you were bleeding, your cheeks were bruised, you couldn't get up. everything hurt so badly, your eyes were closing but you couldn't go to sleep, you had class next. 

so you tried to get up, but now everything was a blur. your glasses were across the room, but your phone thankfully was in your back pocket. you hissed, feeling a sting of pain shoot up your arm, as you dialled jessica's number. 

"you know where, please hurry." you whispered, your voice breaking as jessica informed you she was on her way. 

you began crying, this was the most pain she has ever inflicted on you at any given point. your whole body ached and you felt as if you were about to throw up, but you pushed it down and kept it in like you had done so many times before. 

you could hear arguing and familiar voices shouting and the door to the room slamming open, and jessica walking over to you. but there was somebody behind her, but you couldn't quite make out who it was. jessica laid you down on your back, whimpering as she took in the extent of your injuries. 

"did krystal do this?" the person spoke up and you realised it was amber. 

you didn't say a word, not trusting your voice, and besides, wasn't it obvious? jessica didn't say anything either, too busy trying to clear up the bruises and the blood. 

"was this krystal?" amber repeated, her voice now harder. 

yet again, she received no reply and you heard her swear. you winced as jessica gently dabbed carefully, wiping away the blood, and whispering for you to stay still. 

"aren't you two going to say anything?" amber asked, crouching down. 

you opened your mouth to answer but everything was now black.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 03: decisions, decisions, decisions ㅡ amber or krystal?

"seven, eight, nin ㅡ amber do i really have to do this?" you ask the the tall girl in front of you. 

amber nodded, you could see the tears forming in her eyes so you continued. when you had awoken you you had found yourself in jessica's bedroom, and a worried amber and jessica sitting in front of you. the two had let out long sighs when they saw you were awake and jessica quickly rushed out to get you some water. 

amber did not believe your protests that you were fine, she was now sticking her hand up and making you answer as to what numbers she was holding up. you wanted to roll your eyes and go back to sleep but the tense lines in her forehead showed you how worried and nervous she had been and the least you could do was call out numbers. 

the door opened and jessica ran over, holding a glass of water, and you shifted yourself around making yourself more comfortable. out of the corner of your eye you could see amber watching you, you noticed how small and broken she looked as she watched you drink ㅡ a wash of guilt waved over you as you noticed the time, it was past midnight yet here amber was [still in her school uniform]. 

"you know you don't have to stay right, amber?" you watched her shake her head, refusing to leave. "aren't your parents worried?" 

again the older girl shook her head, "they think i'm at luna's house, she'll cover for me." 

at the mention of luna, jessica's cheeks tinged a slight pink and you smirked ㅡ did the ice princess have a crush? when she caught you smiling she secretly stuck her middle finger up making you laugh and cough on your water, then laugh some more. 

"she was crying," jessica whispered, as she fluffed up your pillows. "when i finished cleaning you up, she was literally bawling."

you had noted that amber's eyes were red but you did not want to draw to the conclusion that she cared about you as more than a friend, something that was blatantly obvious. 

you heard the front door open and shut, a sign that krystal jung had arrived. jessica quickly locked the door to her room, and hissed for you to be quiet ㅡ there was no point, you were frozen, rigid. 

amber looked at the door, making a move to stand, but you shook your head and she returned to her seat at the edge of jessica's bed. the three of you were silent, thinking any noise would alert krystal and bring her to your room. 

but noise or no noise it didn't matter, krystal slammed the door open. her eyes narrowed when she saw amber and her hands tightened into fists. but then her eyes reached you and they softened ㅡ in fact she let out a gasp, looking down at her fists and your brusied face, wondering if she had really done that? 

"what the fuck is this bitch doing here?" the question was aimed at jessica, who was now slyly trying to hide the pills in her hand and put them in her back pocket. 

"amber and i are partners, and we're starting out project together." jessica managed to say the sentence without stuttering although you could see her hands were shaking. 

"project? then why she is here at midnight? isn't that a little too late?" krystal was now looking at her sister the way she had looked at you, before knocking you out. 

"me and amber are also partners for this other project, so jessica and her finished theirs first and then me and amber started ours. its a big project." you chimed in, wanting to save jessica from a cruel fate. 

your voice sounded croaky and tired, like you had a bad cold and hadn't slept for hours ㅡ but it worked, krystal now looked as if she felt somewhat guilty. she opened the door to the room again, and you let out a small sigh, finally ㅡ she was going. 

but then she turned around. 

"come with me." she pointed at you, walking back towards the bed to help you out. for once, you could actually see remorse and love in her eyes but you did not want to go with her. 

you turned to jessica and she quickly shook her head, putting an arm out therefore preventing krystal from even reaching you. but your girlfriend wasn't letting go that easily, she pushed past krystal and smiled at you. 

"she needs to rest, krys." jessica hopes a pet name would lead her sister to calm down and leave you alone. "she's tired and in pain, just leave her." 

"yes, i know." snapped krystal, narrowing her eyes. "i'm not an idiot. she can sleep in my room, my bed's a hundred times more comfortable. now, fuck off." 

jessica bit her lip and took a step back and you let out a small squeal as krystal grabbed your arm, the bruises now turning purple, and pulled you out of the bed. you hissed, your show body feeling like it was being hit repeatedly as you were forced to walk. 

"let go of her now," amber's voice rang out across the room. you had almost forgotten the blonde haired girl was still here, but you were reminded of that as she squared up towards krystal. 

the shorter girl did not lose her grip on your hand, she actually held tighter. krystal was not afraid of amber but you and jessica were both afraid of the fight that was sure to happen. 

"i'm not playing games krystal, if you don't let her go it's not going to be nice for your face." amber leaned forward and hissed this in krystal's ear. 

"why don't we let her choose?" krystal let go and you pulled your sore arm towards your chest. "whoever she chooses, she stays with." 

jessica's eyes were screaming amber and so was your heart but your mind was telling you that going with amber ment serious repercussions from krystal. but that was love sometimes, the right decision might sometimes lead to a bumpy path but being in love with someone who loves you back was what truly mattered. krystal wasn't that big there was nothing she could do that you couldn't sort out ㅡ it was time to stop being scared, scared of a girl whose fists were her only weapons. it was time to be happy. 

but you couldn't help yourself from being scared, you couldn't help yourself from being in love. no matter how much you resented her there was a big part of you that would throw anything, and anyone away for jung soojung. 

and that part of you always won.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 04: the aftermath

amber rolled her eyes the second she saw you walk into the classroom, her normally pleasant expression was now gone from her face and instead repealed with a cold, dark look. a look directed at you. when you caught her eyes you looked away, causing her to scoff. 

the brave front you were putting up was slowly crumbling as people stared at you as you walked to your classes. you had no idea why and spent a lot of the day running to the bathroom and checking that there were no visible marks on your face. 

during your seventh run to the toilet you were applying makeup to one of the brusies when luna walked out of one of the cubicles. you smiled at her but, like amber, she rolled her eyes and began to wash her hands. 

"hey!" you called out, hoping for some sort of reaction from the short haired girl but all you recieved was a cold glance and slamming door. 

you didn't want to go to fifth period maths but somehow you found yourself trudging through the corridors and entering the classroom, ten minutes early. the teacher shot you a confused look as you took out the required equipment from your bag but didn't say a word, thankfully ㅡ you weren't in the mood for an interrogation session. 

the class slowly filed in and the once heavy silence was repleaced with the voices of teenagers. you noticed jessica come in and glance in your direction, but you kept your eyes firmly towards your book, not even realising amber had sat next to you. 

the teacher assigned the work and returned to her computer and cup of coffee. for once, you found yourself concentrating on the task and didn't say a word to anyone. jessica wanted to come over and say something but krystal was telling a story and walking out while she was talking was like asking to be killed. so she found herself listening but watching you from afar, concerned. 

amber was also concerned, as well as angry. she wanted to ask you why you had chosen krystal, why you had done that to yourself but at the same time she wanted to ignore you, and teach you a lesson. but the caring side got the best of her and amber found herself poking your cheek and whispering your name. 

she noticed your body freeze up, and sighed to herself. you turned to her, and let out a small smile and she returned a bigger one. you could feel jessica and luna both watching you, but for once you chose to ignore their stares and focus on the girl in front of you. 

"you look like you haven't slept in years." amber let out, her warm breath tickling your face. 

"really?" your hands flew up to your face, and you began to stutter. "i thought my makeup was covering everything pretty well!" 

at the mention of the word everything, amber knew that you also meant the bruises and began to feel a pool of anger towards the blonde haired teen sitting across the classroom. she took small deep breathes and contracted back on you but couldn't shake off the feeling of wanting to knock krystal out. 

"it does." amber reassured you, her honest smile bringing you comfort. "i can just tell ㅡ it's because of me and luna, right?" 

you rolled your eyes, "don't get cocky, i wouldn't waste time crying about someone ignoring me!" 

but the truth was it was exactly what you had done, late nights awake, tears falling down your face as you wondered why you were being ignored. nights where you weren't able to fall asleep, feeling like a failure. you didn't even have the option of calling jessica, knowing with the thin walls in the jung house that krystal would be able to hear everything. 

"it was, wasn't it?" amber's voice was quiet, and her shoulders hunched. "i'm super sorry." 

"we are super sorry." luna looked up from her textbook, offering a look of pure sincerity. "honestly, i'm so sorry." 

you nodded, a wave of relief washing over you, and let out a small laugh. soon luna joined in and, pushed by luna's infectious giggle, amber began to laugh too. the three of you didn't notice your maths teacher walking towards you, a frown eteched into her face from years of telling off troublesome students. 

"the three of you, detention!" her voice rang out, attracting the rest of the class to see who was receiving the punishment. 

you sighed, rolling your eyes ㅡ detentions with this teacher were the worst, she kept you behind for hours after class and asking to leave would just grant you another detention. luna seemed to share the same thoughts as you, swearing under her breath when the teacher's back had turned. 

"detention?" jessica's voice made you spin around, blinking repeatedly to see her in the desk next to yours. "you can't have it ㅡ you've got to help me with the homework, you promised!" 

fuck!, you had completely forgotten that you'd promised to tutor jessica after school and this detention now prevented you from doing it. your mouth opened to apologise but jessica had already stood up, and was now walking towards the teacher. she muttered something in the teacher's ear and you watched the teacher scream at her, giving her a detention. 

she ran back towards her seat, nearly tripping in her small heels. the smirk on her face was soon erased as she noticed krystal stand up, and do the exact same thing she had done. 

you felt your heart drop as krystal walked over to your seat, feeling your heart drop. luna and amber both shuffled away from you, returning to their books - moreso luna then amber but it was okay, you could deal with krystal. 

"can't wait to see you in detention, baby!" she hissed into your ear, leaving a small kiss on your cheek. "you too, lunie and ambsies!" 

ambsies?

lunie?

what the fuck?

krystal threw her hair back as she walked back to her seat, winking at jessica as she went along. you watched her return to her seat, a silence having taken over the classroom (as it normally did when krystal did anything). 

out of the corner of your eye you watched the two biggest gossips known to mankind, taeyeon and tiffany, whip out the phones and begin to tell the entire school what had happened. but, as they knew, texting in class resulted in a detention and it turned out you'd be seeing them after school too. 

the two nodded solemnly when the teacher told them but high fived each other the minute she turned around. anxiety began to sweep through you - a detention with your girlfriend, her sister, your girlfriend's arch nemesis, your girlfriend's sister's crush and the two biggest gossips in school? not good.

not good at all.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 05: krystal turns over a new leaf and amber is moving on

the second the bell rang to signal the ending of class, jessica ran over to you; her newly done nails digging into you like talons. a small hiss escaped your mouth and jessica removed her hand immediately. 

"sorry!" she snorted, dragging you down the corridor with her. "i keep forgetting i had them done!"

she walked in front of you, students moving out of her way the minute they saw her coming - creating an almost clear path. the key word being almost. 

standing in the middle of the corridor, students going around her, was krystal. she had her arms crossed, a frown evident on her face, but there was something different about her eyes; normally, they were cold and emotionless but now, they were full of fear?

jessica let go of you, now stopping herself. her arms, like krystal's, were crossed and the two sisters stood opposite each other. amazingly, krystal was the first to break eye contact.

"look," her voice came out small. "i just gotta talk to y/n. please."

jessica turned around to you and silently whispered 'no' but you ignored her, walking straight towards krystal. in the days following the incident krystal had distanced herself from you; she took care of you that night but after that she began ignoring you, avoiding eye contact and leaving the house when jessica invited you over. at first you were worried, thinking you had done something but no punishment followed and soon you began to relish in the freedom it allowed ㅡ it almost felt like krystal didn't exist.

until today. 

"i'm so sorry." she whispered, her head down. 

"sorry for what, exactly?"

"for everything!" she shouted, standing up. "for being such a shit girlfriend and treating you so badly, being horrible to luna and amber, cheating on you, everything. and i promise you i will fix things, just give me a second chance, okay?" 

you were taken back ㅡ you were expecting to be dumped not this. krystal never apologised, ever. you struggled to look into her eyes; were you ready to forgive her for all the shit she had caused you? 

she had honestly ruined your life but she had also made it fucking amazing, and didn't everyone deserve a second chance? if you gave it to her she might return to the sweet, loving girlfriend she once was and you could not lie and say you didn't miss that krystal. you knew jessica would be absolutely fuming at you later but who cares you thought, leaning into kiss krystal.

 

-

 

by the time detention came you were in the happiest mood. krystal had spent the whole day by your side, making you laugh and actually attempting to get along with your friends. jessica, you noted, was as shocked as you are ㅡ but luna and amber nearly died when krystal sat between them, asking luna how theatre was going and if amber's basketball team had qualified for the championships. 

"is that krystal or has an alien overtaken her body?" luna whispered to you, when krystal began talking to amber. "she even told me my hair looked cute this morning!"

you laughed, "and how did jess take that?" 

the other ice princess was sitting next to luna, her arms crossed and a frown evident on her face. you stuck your tongue out at her and she returned it ㅡ krystal noticed this and laughed, blowing jessica a kiss. 

amber, on the other hand, looked like she was going to die — partially because she was sitting next to the girl she hated the most, krystal, but also because you looked so happy. it was as if krystal had never been a shit girlfriend; even luna was warming up to her and amber couldn't stand it. the jealousy in her amplified when you kissed krystal and she just couldn't understand why you would stay with her.

she saw you look over at her, and saw embarrassment but also something else. she wasn't sure what it was but she was certain a small part of you still had feelings for her, even though you were obviously trying to push those feelings away. 

it was the opposite for amber — her feelings had amplified, if that was even possible. you were constantly on her mind; were you eating? how were you feeling today? had krystal hurt you? the last question particularly made her worry, were you faking this happiness in an effort to make her think everything was fine? or were you truly happy with the girl that amber despised the most? 

she didn't know which one broke her heart more. 

"amber." jessica whispered into her ear. "i don't know what's got in to (y/n). she's telling me everything's fine between her and krystal and i haven't seen any marks on her so i guess they are."

"no marks at all?" amber repeated, she needed confirmation. 

"apart," jessica was now blushing. "from, you know, sex marks."

amber felt a wave of jealousy run over her, so you and krystal were fucking. the idea made her want to burst in tears but also punch a wall, she took a deep breath and left the lunch table without a word, ignoring the stares from the group. 

she trudged through the hallway, pushing past the other students until she reached the gym. amber had been on the basketball team for two years but dropped out to focus on her studies but whenever she needed to de-stress she'd find herself shooting hoops in the empty gymnasium. 

ball after ball went in, amber began to sweat, her heart racing as she remembered why she loved this game so much. she heard a cheer behind her and whipped around, coming to face her ex — a sweet girl on the cheer team, hyuna. 

"you did great!" hyuna ran up to her, wrapping her into a hug. "you have to join the team again, nobody plays like you!"

in this moment amber couldn't remember why she had broken up with the sweet girl. something about her being really in love with you and feeling that hyuna deserved better — she found herself leaning in, kissing the familiar lips of the blonde haired girl. 

what she didn't notice was that you had followed her; watched her score again and again, watched hyuna walk up to her and saw amber pull her in. a burning rage ran through your body and you tried to push the feeling away, reminding yourself of your "loving" girlfriend but you couldn't. 

instead, you turned on your heel and walked out of the gym, slamming the door behind you causing hyuna and amber to jump away from each other's lips, wondering who had caught them kissing.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 06: jealous, you’re jealous

fuming. you were fuming and you didn't know why. you did not like amber, you were dating krystal so why the fuck did you feel so jealous? there was no way you were going to return to the canteen like this. krystal and jessica would notice that something was up and luna would add the dots together. 

but it would look bad if you didn't return either. so you trudged back into the canteen, removing the scowl from your face. krystal smiled at you, patting her lap and you waved back, skipping over. 

minutes later and amber returned with no hyuna. thank god, you thought, you might have snapped her neck off. she had a big smile on her face which she directed at you but you scowled back. she gave you a confused face but you turned to face krystal, nuzzling your head into her shoulder. 

"are you okay babe?" krystal whispered, pushing some hair away from your face. 

"yeah." you mumbled, nuzzling in deeper. "i just got a headache." 

you couldn't see but you could feel amber's eye burning into your back. you shifted around, making eye contact with amber and quickly looking away. she looked hurt and started talking to jessica and luna, leaving you feeling like an asshole. 

"do you want to skip maths?" krystal asked, snapping you back to reality. 

"no!" you shook your head, skipping maths meant not sitting next to amber — something that you strangely craved now. "with my grades another skipped lesson means a fail." 

"and you're supposed to be tutoring jess!" krystal laughed, a light twinkling sound which normally made your heart race.

amber also laughed, her laugh was deeper and you felt your heart race speeding up. this wasn't good. as if she had heard your thoughts she turned around, sending a soft smile at you which you, again, replied to with a scowl. her face immediately changed, tears beginning to form in her eyes and your heart broke — literally. 

the bell rang, signalling the end of lunch and you pushed yourself off krystal. but she had stood up at the same time, causing you to fall off and hit your head against the table. 

"shit!" you swore, putting a hand to your head. 

amber ran over, helping you up. you smiled, but at the ground, unable to make eye contact with her; worried she'd be able to read your emotions through one look. 

"oh my god, babe! are you alright?" krystal asked, her face full of concern and worry. "that's going to make your headache worse!"

"huh, headache?" you were confused for a second before remembering the lie you had told her. "oh yeah! no it's fine, i'll take a pill and i'll be good." 

she nodded, chewing her lip anxiously as her hand interlocked with you others. she let go when you reached the maths classroom, walking over to her seat at the back, surrounded by the idiots of the class, while you plonked down next to amber and luna. 

for a while you and luna giggled together, gossiping about everything and anything while amber did her work. but soon she was done and wanted to join the conversation. you ignored her though and very quickly she, and luna, caught on. 

"did i do something to you?" she asked, her eyes began to tear up again. "you've been giving me nasty looks all day." 

"shouldn't you be making out with hyuna or something?" you snapped back, burning your eyes into hers. 

luna looked taken aback, glancing at amber to see if that was true. 

"hyuna!" she whispered. "you're not messing around with her again, are you? you don't even like her, what are you doing?" 

amber ignored luna, focusing on you. 

"why do you care?" she taunted. "i can kiss whoever i want, i'm not your girlfriend, am i?" 

you looked down in defeat and sighed, a real headache now beginning to form. slowly you raised your hand, asking for permission to go to the bathroom. avoiding making eye contact with anyone in the classroom, you quickly escaped to the bathroom, locking yourself in a cubicle. 

the tears came out quickly and your whole body shook. you felt horrible for having some kind of feelings towards amber especially when you were with krystal. she had been trying so hard to be a better girlfriend and here you were throwing her efforts to dust. yes, she had made mistakes but she was a better person now, right? 

you were snapped out of your thoughts by amber calling your name. rolling your eyes, you opened the cubicle door and she immediately came inside, locking the door behind her. 

"what's wrong, baby?" she asked, wiping your tears with her hand. 

"don't call me that." you shook your head, ignoring the flutter of your heart when she had said that. 

"i don't get it." she huffed. "you chose krystal over me, after everything she had done to you! and now you're upset that i'm with hyuna? it doesn't make sense." 

"i know!" you yelled back. "i don't know why i'm so jealous when i have my own girlfriend. i don't know why i picked her, when i wanted you. i want you, amber!" 

amber's face broke out into a smile and she pulled you closer, engulfing your lips with hers. you kissed back straight away, grabbing her arms and wrapping them around your waist. amber's tongue entered your mouth and you moaned into the kiss, feeling her smirk against your lips. 

you continued kissing for another minute when the doors to the toilet opened again. knowing that four feet in one bathroom would look weird you jumped up, wrapping your arms around amber's waist. she giggled into your neck, and soon began leaving kisses there. 

"we shouldn't be doing this." you heard hyuna's voice, causing your eyebrows furrow. 

"i know, baby. but i also know how much you want me." krystal replied back. "it's been a month since we last did it."

"yeah, cause you're still with that girlfriend of yours." you could literally hear hyuna's pout. "i want everyone to know you're mine." 

"they will!" krystal's voice was so close to you now. "i'll break up with her after school, okay?" 

"no you won't!" you jumped off amber, and unlocked the door. "because i'm dumping you now." 

both of the girls jumped back, moving as far away from each other as they possibly could. 

"i knee you liked her!" krystal screeched, pointing at amber behind you. "oh my god, have you been making out?" 

"shut up!" you screamed back. "how can you say anything when you've been cheating on me for a month!" 

"baby, let's go." amber grabbed your hand, pulling you back. 

before anyone could say anything the door to the bathroom flung open and your maths teacher stood there, with a face like thunder. 

"detention! all of you!"


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 07: krystal cuts her hair and amber's actions scare you

"you're fucking kidding." jessica whispered as you told her what had happened. "seriously?"

you were in sociology, the teacher was sick so you had a substitute teacher who really didn't care what you were doing. after your teacher had given you detention the four of you were marched back to the classroom and all moved away from each other. you had rolled your eyes at that but soon began laughing as amber sent you pouty faces and blew kisses from her front seat. 

"i'm so happy for you though!" jessica punched your shoulder. "me and luna, and you and amber can go on double dates! and maybe if you and krystal begin to be friends we can go on triple dates!" 

"okay," you laughed. "triple dates aren't a thing for starters. secondly, is this you confirming that you and luna are dating?" 

jessica went red, immediately picking up her pen and writing the date in her book. you laughed again, nudging her with you arm. 

"she's so pretty, oh my god." jessica sighed. "did you know she could sing? her voice is perfect, god i'm really falling for her. and her laugh is the cutest! she sounds like a baby pig!" 

"she's in a band, what did you expect?" you opened your book, writing the date and a header. 

"what? since when? with who?" jessica slammed your book shut. 

"with amber, victoria and sulli." you replied, opening your book up again. 

"how the fuck did i not know that?" jessica was frowning. "i'm a shit girlfriend, aren't i?"

"you're not a shit girlfriend because you didn't know that she's in a band, jess. you can come watch her perform next month at battle of the bands." the substitute teacher had now stood up and you began to furiously write. 

"there's a battle of the bands? how did i not know that?" jessica did not notice the teacher striding towards her. 

"detention." the teacher said, handing jessica a slip. 

"what? but she didn't —" she began before noticing you had been writing while she was talking. 

"at least i'll get to watch the showdown between you and krystal." she laughed. 

"don't remind me." you groaned. 

 

 

-

 

 

amber was waiting outside of your classroom, winking as she saw you and jessica leave. she wrapped an arm around you and you nuzzled into her neck. 

"ready for detention, baby?" she whispered into your ear, biting it lightly. 

"yes!" jessica replied, pulling you away from amber. "so let's go, ladies!" 

she pushed the door to the detention room open and plonked herself in between the two of you. amber laughed and your heart felt as it might drop out of your chest. she was so beautiful and you were in awe at everything she did. 

the door swung open and in came hyuna, alone. her eyes were downcast and she sat herself in front of amber. your eyes burned into her back and, as if she could feel it, she turned around and mouthed a 'sorry'. 

before you could reply the detention teacher walked in and ordered you into silence. fifteen minutes in and he looked down at his list. 

"jung, jessica?" the teacher asked and jessica sprang up. 

"you and the girl next to you are allowed to go, the rest will stay." 

you frowned but jessica pulled you from the classroom; before you left you pouted at amber who in return blew a kiss. hyuna moved from her seat into jessica's newly vacated one and you frowned, what was she doing?

before you could say anything the door shut behind you and you began walking to the parking lot. you grumbled to jess as you walked, wondering why you had been let out early and why hyuna decided to sit next to amber. 

"you." a voice cut you off. 

krystal was standing at the entrance to the school, her arms folded as she watched you. her hair was now cropped short and you wondered how she changed from the long locks she had two periods ago. 

"your hair!" jessica gasped. 

"like it?" krystal walked over. "i think it's hot." 

she grabbed you by your hand and pulled you towards her, her nails digging into your skin. 

"scatter." she hissed at two freshmen in the bathroom. 

"what the fuck do you think you're doing!" you screamed at her, pushing her into the wall. 

"i'm sorry, okay!" she yelled back. "i'm sorry for cheating! i'm sorry for shouting at you when you were with amber before, it's obvious how much you like her. i'm sorry for everything i've done to you. can we start over?" 

you sighed. you were doubtful krystal would leave your life — her sister was your best friend, you were in multiple classes together, she was one of your best friends and you would never stop loving her. 

"friends." you nodded and she smiled, the both of you doing the handshake you had made up as kids. 

"i can't believe you still remember that." she laughed. 

"jessica still does it!" you snorted, shaking with laughter. 

"does my hair look bad?" she mumbled, looking nervous. "do you think she'll like it?"

"if she is hyuna, then yes." you smiled. "you look fine, krys. it's a drastic change but you look great, trust me." 

she let out a relived sigh and opened the bathroom door to let you out. she bowed as you walked past and you giggled again, not realising amber and hyuna were in front of you. 

"let's go, babe!" krystal strode over and grabbed hyuna's hand, the pair walking off. 

"what were you guys talking about?" amber asked, frowning as you hugged her. 

"what were you and hyuna talking about?" you replied back. 

"nothing." 

"then, nothing." you scowled. 

amber bit her tongue and stormed past you. krystal and hyuna were at the entrance and time froze as amber grabbed krystal and punched her. you shouted and ran at them, pushing amber off the smaller girl. krystal's nose was bleeding and you searched your pockets for tissues to give her. 

you could hear hyuna shouting at amber, and soon enough you heard jessica's thunderous voice. finding a tissue you dabbed lightly at krystal's nose as she groaned. jessica grabbed the tissue from you and pushed it against her nose, opening the first aid kit she always kept in her bag.

"what the fuck?" you hissed at amber, tears threatening to leak out of your eyes. "why would you do that to her?" 

"because, because, just because!" amber spat out, her hands shaking. "i didn't mean to, god." 

"well you did!" you shouted. "and for no reason at all. you're no better than her." 

"what?" amber's face dropped. 

"just go!" you pointed at the door. "i don't want to see you." 

she opened her mouth again but said nothing, turning on her heel. she pushed the doors opened and slammed them behind her. you watched her get into her car and speed off, your heart cracking. you didn't know why she had done that, amber was never violent. or maybe she was but she was good at concealing that part of herself. you had no idea. would everyone you date be violent? 

you had really thought amber was different but she was just like krystal, except she took her anger out on others. but then she could take her anger out on you — your heart was hammering, this was all too much. so much had happened in the past month and you didn't think you could take it anymore. you heard hyuna call out your name, and the sound of krystal and jessica scream. you felt your legs fall beneath you and three worried faces in front of you. you opened your mouth to say something but then everything went black.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 08: jessica is an angel from up above and amber is sorry

"hello, nice to see you're awake." the woman peering down at you smiled. "please don't try to move." 

your eyes widened and you took in the sight in front of you. there were two nurses in the room and jessica was sitting in a chair next to your bed, biting her lip as she stared at you. you frowned, what were you doing here? 

then it hit you. detention, krystal dragging you into the bathroom, amber punching her and then you fainting. you sighed, closing your eyes again. your head was pounding and you didn't know how long you had been there, what hospital you were at, where your parents were. 

"jess." you whispered and the brunette jumped up. 

"you're awake!" she squealed, pushing your hair out of your eyes. "you sleep an awful lot." 

you smiled — no matter what jessica was always there for you. through thick and thin she had always been by your side, providing comfort and support and you didn't know where you'd be without the ice princess. 

"what happened?" you croaked, feeling beyond thirsty. 

"you passed out, angel. you've had a lot of stress on your shoulders and i think you forgot to eat and the krystal and amber thing pushed you over the edge." she looked sympathetic. 

you sighed, you had forgot to eat. in between revising for school, dealing with whatever was going on with your life, you had forgotten to provide your body with food. no wonder you had been feeling weaker than usual lately. 

"amber came." jessica mumbled, looking at the ground. 

"how'd she know i was here?" you questioned. 

"luna told her. she was a mess, oh my god. she bought flowers, and then she burst out into tears when i told her you hadn't woken up yet. but she never got to see you because i didn't let her in. after what she did to krystal — i don't want her around you." jessica sounded firm. 

"luna was here? please tell me you didn't fuck with me passed out." 

"shut up!" jessica turned red, throwing her jacket at you. "of course not! we only kissed!" 

"anyone else come see me?" 

"yeah. krystal and hyuna. krys' nose is looking better and hyuna felt really bad. she said all she said to amber was 'sorry', she had no idea it would cause all this drama." jessica's phone pinged. 

"who is it?" you asked, watching her eyes roll. 

"amber." she growled. "wants to know if you're awake." 

"tell her to come see me."

"what?" jessica's mouth dropped open. "no way." 

"i'm going to have to speak to her soon enough so it might as well be now." you sat up straighter, reaching for the glass of water next to you. 

"if you say so." 

 

 

-

 

 

amber looked horrible. her eyes were red, her hair was a mess, and her hands wouldn't stop shaking. jessica had excused herself to the bathroom so the two of you were alone. the silence was deafening, neither of you knew what to say. 

"so," amber spoke, her voice strained. "are they going to discharge you soon?"

"yeah." you nodded. "tomorrow morning." 

"good, good." she looked back down at the ground and the silence took over again. 

"me and hyuna weren't really talking about anything, you know. she apologised and so did i, i didn't think it was important hence why i said 'nothing'." amber said after a few minutes. 

"i know." you looked up at her and smiled. "same with me and krystal." 

"ah." she sighed. "i've fucked up, haven't i?" 

"yes." you laughed, "but we all do at one point." 

"i don't even know why i did it! the last time i punched someone was in third grade when some boy stole my ice cream." she shook her head, sighing again. "i was disgusted with myself." 

you couldn't think of a reply so instead you patted the space next to you on the bed. amber smiled before hesitantly walking over. you grabbed her by the waist causing her to fall down next to you, borrowing your head into her shoulder. 

"i understand if you don't want to date." she whispered into your hair. "but i really do like you. fuck, i think i love you." 

"can we take it slow?" you asked. "in all my relationships we've moved so fast so quickly and i've regretted it. so let's not speed things up, we have lots of time, alright?" 

"okay." you could feel her smiling. "that reminds me! i bought you something." 

she jumped off the bed, pulling out a packet of crisps from her bag. amazingly it was your favourite flavour and you grabbed it, opening it and stuffing your face. 

"hospital food sucks and i figured you'd be hungry." she moved back onto the bed, rubbing your arm. "eat up, angel." 

you smiled, you were currently sitting in a hospital bed with your crush (girlfriend?) and you had never been happier. you closed the packet, and pulled down the tv — putting on a murder mystery documentary. 

"oh my god, i love these!" amber squealed. "me and luna used to stay up all night in the summer watching them. we'd be scared shitless but we would continue watching them because if we stopped we'd be super freaked out. there was this one about a pageant queen, god it was freaking crazy. lemme tell you about it! she was, like, super ric—" you cut amber off with a kiss to the lips. 

you pulled away but you felt fingers push your lips back up to meet their's. amber's lips were soft and you soon found yourself melting into them. you repositioned yourself so that amber was underneath you, and pulled her arms around you. neither of you noticed that jessica had returned until amber finally pulled away from you. 

"that was amazing—" she began but screamed as she saw the figure standing behind you, pulling you down onto her. 

"and you were making jokes about me and luna fucking?" jessica laughed. "pass me some crisps, i'm hungry!"


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 09: jessica jung does not have a patchy voice

battle of the bands was coming up and you had decided to enter. your parents had been encouraging you to join any kind of extra curricular club / event and battle of the bands didn't seem bad. besides, you would get to spend more time with your girlfriend. 

you and amber had gone on a few dates before she decided to ask if you wanted to be her girlfriend. you had said yes and since then life had gone well — school sucked, life was boring but amber seemed to brighten everything up. 

you were going to be playing the drums in your band, with krystal as vocals and jessica and hyuna playing the guitar. an odd group together but honestly you couldn't deny that you sounded pretty good. there was a good chance of you winning. 

the competition was tough though — there were the band kids who had spent pretty much their whole life practicing for this. they were mean and didn't like newcomers so you spent time avoiding them whenever you went to practice. there were bands who'd been together since freshman year (one band had won their middle school battle of the bands together). and you were also up against last year's winners — your girlfriend's band. 

when you had first told amber you would be entering she didn't look very pleased. not wanting to start an argument soon after you had come out of hospital you had brushed it off — it would be awkward playing against each other though. 

"hello, ladies." you sauntered into the practice room. 

hyuna and krystal were engrossed in some silly cop show krystal had been obsessed with; the thing had a million seasons and krystal had been watching it since middle school, god knew how she kept up with it. jessica had luna on her lap and was whispering something into her ear — she winked at you and you turned around, deciding to take a little toilet trip. 

after you had finished your business you noticed amber talking to one of the kids who worked the sound for the battle. deciding to scare her you moved back so you couldn't been seen. it turned out you could hear the whole conversation though as the corridor was completely empty. 

"look, i'll even pay you." you heard amber whisper and you frowned, what was she bribing them for? 

"what if i get caught?" the person retorted. "why can't your girlfriend ask me herself?" 

her girlfriend? that was you — what the fuck was going on? 

"because she doesn't know." amber curtly replied. 

"your own girlfriend doesn't know that you're planing to ask me to change the sound so her band can sound better than everyone else?" the person laughed. "you're strange." 

"please." amber begged. 

you were in total shock, did amber think that you were that bad that she would pay someone to make you sound better? tears welled up in your eyes — you and the girls had spent the past month working your asses off, and amber had told you multiple times that you were great. she knew how nervous you were and yet there was she was, blatantly lying to your face. 

"my sister's planning to tryout for the basketball team." the person sounded thoughtful. "you're the head of it, right? make sure she gets on it; she's shit so make her a sub, i don't care, just put her on it."

"deal." 

they shook hands and the person walked off, leaving amber standing there and you, hiding. you wanted to confront her but you didn't know what to say. but it didn't matter and you found yourself storming up to her. 

"you're horrible." you mumbled, unable to meet her eye. "do you really think we're that bad that you have to bribe someone?" 

amber stood there, her eyes burning. she opened her mouth but closed it again, looking at the ground. 

"every time you said i was good, you lied." you had tears running down your face now. "you know how worried i was. if i was so bad, you could've helped me out, i would've gladly accepted that. you're an asshole." 

"why were you eavesdropping anyway?" amber retaliated. "that's a shitty thing to do. you don't trust me, do you?" 

"i just wanted to scare you!" you shouted. "i didn't think i'd hear you bribing someone, did i? and for the record, i did trust you but now you've done this, i don't." 

"bribing someone for what?" you heard luna's quiet voice behind you. 

"she asked a question, answer." jessica spat out and you sighed — she had never really forgiven amber for punching krystal. 

"she was bribing someone to basically switch our audio off because she thinks we sound shit." you stared into your girlfriend's eye, unable to understand what she was thinking. 

"what the fuck?" jessica walked over, barging amber. 

"they sound fine, though." luna whispered, pulling jessica back. "a little bit patchy but fine." 

"thanks, babe." jessica pushed luna's hand off hers, making the younger girl sigh. "come on, (y/n), we're going home." 

giving amber a pointed look you started walking after jessica — your heart ached, but you knew turning around and looking into those loving eyes of her would make you break down completely. 

"what a fucking asshole." jessica unlocked her car. "patchy, me?" 

you were silent the whole ride while jessica spat out insults. you felt like shit; honestly you had been really looking forward to battle of the bands but now you were going to cross your name off the sign up sheet. your own girlfriend thought you were shit, that must have meant you really sucked. tears were beginning to well up in your eyes and your remaining confidence began to tear up apart. 

jessica swerved into her driveway, and you pushed open the door, slamming it hard and then quickly wincing. she didn't reply and you noticed she had a tear stained face too. it was rare that you ever saw jess cry; she was so focused on caring after you and krystal (and now luna) that she rarely broke down in public. this must've really hurt her. 

your phone buzzed in your pocket and a photo of amber and her arms around you covered the screen. you wanted to pick up and let her know you'd speak to her later and you weren't that mad but you couldn't — not only had she hurt you but she had also hurt your best friend, someone who was like a sister to you, the one who'd never left your side. 

you declined the call.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 010: one minute breakups and love triangles

"i was sick." you repeated, to the attendance officer in front of you. "call my parents if you don't believe me." 

"i'm not saying i don't believe you." her voice was steely. "i'm just saying that you've been 'sick' quite often." 

"sorry i have a shit immune system!" you hissed, quickly mumbling a sorry as she slipped you a detention slip. 

you turned on your feet and began to walk to your next lesson, maths. seeing the time you decided to take a little detour; there was another hour and a half of maths left so it wouldn't hurt to miss ten minutes. 

locking yourself in a cubicle you sat down, whipping out your phone and informing jessica that you had returned to school. it buzzed and pinged, signalling that you had received multiple notifications — mainly from amber. she spent the first few days constantly apologising, then asking where you were and then she went back to apologising. 

you had taken time off school to think; you really, really liked amber but this was becoming too much. first she nearly breaks krystal's nose and then she tries to cheat in battle of the bands? you sighed as you clocked on your text message conservation with her. feeling your heart break as you typed, you sent a simple message — it's over, i'm sorry, i love you. 

 

 

-

 

 

 

"oh my god, please pick up." you froze as you heard amber's voice enter the bathroom. "please, oh my god." 

she must've read the text in class, you thought; an image of a worried amber reading your text and then heading here smashed your heart further. it took all your strength to stay in your cubicle and not come out and speak to her. 

"(y/n)." her voice was quiet. "i just got your text. i don't know what to say. you know it's the first time you've said i love you to me, right? i always thought that you'd say that to me on a date, after we finished kissing, anything else but this. but it's alright, i fucked up so it's okay. i love you too. so much. i wish i could say it to your face. i wish i could hug you once more, kiss you once more, be your girlfriend for one more day. i miss you and it's only been a couple of minutes. i'm so sorry. hopefully, one day, we find our way back to each other." 

 

no i'm sorry, you quickly sent. come and hug me, come be my girlfriend again, please. 

"you're here?" amber's voice was ecstatic. "open up then!" 

 

the door to your cubicle was quickly unlocked by her expert fingers and she embraced you, holding you so tight you felt as if you were going to break. you felt your neck become wet and were confused but then soon realized that she was crying. mumbling sweet nothings you wrapped your arm around her waist, kissing her cheek. 

"i know i messed up," she started but then soon became quiet as the tears overtook her. "i'm so, so sorry."

you remained in your position, both just hugging for a few minutes. her arms relaxed into yours and you wished everyday was like this — just hugging amber made you ecstatic, imagine living with her. mornings waking up next to her, spending the entire day with her and then falling asleep next to her. your cheeks warmed at the idea of that. amber noticed your sudden warmth and pulled away. 

"what are you smiling about, baby?" she whispered, her breath tickling your face. "tell me." 

"you." a small laugh escaped your mouth. "you know, like, our future." 

"our future?" amber's cheeks now burnt a blazing red. "you want to be with me in the future?" 

"well, duh, silly!" you giggled. "when i date people i always imagine being with them in the future! i was thinking about moving in together and stuff." 

"stuff?" a smirk spread on her face. "stuff like what?" 

"oh my god, amber!" you hit her chest. "not that kind of stuff! okay, maybe a tiny a bit! ah, shut up!" 

you both burst into laughter and pulled amber in for a kiss, her soft lips melting into yours as your arms wrapped around her waist. the kiss soon began getting heated and you couldn't hold your moans back and frowned as amber abruptly pulled away. you shot her a confused look and pouted as she unlocked the cubicle door. 

"we need to go back to class, otherwise it'll be another detention." she muttered, sighing as she remembered the amount of detentions you'd both received. 

"alright." you hummed and you began the walk back to the maths classroom. 

inside, jessica was sitting alone at the front while luna was staring at her from her seat. in the row behind jessica, hyuna and krystal were doing something very strange underneath that was leaving hyuna bright red. the seat next to luna was vacant and you assumed amber would be sitting there; you kissed her on the cheek before moving to sit next to the ice princess. 

"you're back!" jessica squealed, pulling you in for a hug. "damn, i've missed you." 

"you came over everyday, jess." you reminded her, giggling as you pulled your book and equipment out of your bag. 

"i know, i know! can't i miss my best friend?" she mumbled. 

your eyes focused on her and you saw sadness across her face, unfamiliar for jessica. thinking about what could've caused her upset, your mind came to one thing: luna. while you had sorted things out with amber, her and luna must've still been ignoring each other. no wonder they weren't sitting together. 

"i think luna wants to talk to you." you whispered, pointing towards the girl behind you. "and i know you want to talk to her." 

jessica shook her head, "no idea as to what you're on about." 

"stop being stubborn, jess." you sighed, "come on, i know how happy you were with her. it's been a while since i've seen you with anyone since the whole, tiffany-taeyeon-you love triangle incident, so please don't just throw this away." 

the tiffany-taeyeon-jessica love triangle incident was a hectic time — it was a few months after you'd started dating krystal and you and her had gone out on a date night. at the restaurant you two were at, you noticed jessica's then girlfriend, tiffany, with taeyeon. you both thought nothing of it until you saw them making out in the car park, later that evening. jessica's heart was absolutely crushed, she spent weeks in her room, and moped around the house. then, taeyeon had confessed that she was actually in love with jessica and was just using tiffany to get closer to her. the whole thing was freakishly weird and you had no idea how tiffany and taeyeon ended up being best friends. 

"maybe you're right." jessica nodded, pushing her books away. "i'm going to talk to her now." 

she left the table, and took amber's seat as amber came over to you. nuzzling your head into her chest, you began to copy out the sums on the worksheet into your book as amber helped you figure the answers out. the sun was streaming through the window, and was shining directly on your girlfriend. you knew amber was beautiful, but under the rays of the sun, she was fucking stunning. 

her mouth was moving as she explained a mathematical solution but all you could think about was how nice it would be if her lips were against yours right now. tilting your head to the side, you hummed and nodded at the right times so it seemed as if you were concentrating. but amber saw right through your facade. 

"i know you want to kiss me right now." she whispered, bending closer to you. "but that's only going to happen if you answer this question, alright?" 

you laughed, and picked up your pen, answering the question soon enough. gazing around the classroom, you saw jessica going red as luna pushed a loose strand of hair behind her hair. behind you, you turned around to see hyuna complaining about something dripping down her legs while krystal giggled. smiling to yourself, you turned back around to your girlfriend and as you kissed her, you realised that all was well. 

for now, anyways.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 011: drunk teeens and gunshots don’t make for a good party

the end of the term was approaching fast and of course krystal and jessica were holding the biggest party to celebrate it. their parents were off on a holiday, one the sisters had pushed them into going to, so the house would be completely adult free — except for a few college kids who were tagging along with others. 

you were currently upstairs in jessica's bedroom, sprawled across her bed as you watched a show on your phone. the party started in about an hour and everyone else was downstairs helping set the place up. you had been helping too but soon snuck away, finding comfort in the bed of the elder jung sister. 

completely engrossed in your show you didn't notice krystal enter; not until she yanked your earphones out of your ears. her arms were folded, her face covered in light makeup, and she was still in her pyjamas. 

"what did you do that for?" you poured, snatching your earphones back. "it was getting to the good bit!" 

she snorted, "you're supposed to be downstairs, helping!" 

"i did help!" you retorted, "so now i'm taking my well deserved break." 

"enjoy it." she mumbled, heading for the door. "but by the way, prue dies in that episode and that's the end for her!" 

"krystal!" you screeched, throwing a book from jessica's desk at her but the long legged girl had already escaped, leaving you annoyed that she'd spoiled your show for you. 

you heaved yourself out of your bed, and we're about to return downstairs when you noticed your phone flashing as an incoming text from amber came in. i can't wait to see you soon gorgeous x, you read, smiling to yourself foolishly. quickly typing back a reply, you hit send, and then scurried down the stairs, two at a time. 

 

-

 

the party was in full swing, and it was hard getting past the sweaty, drunk teens. your ears winced at the blasting volume of the music, you could literally feel the house shaking. looking around, you saw krystal and hyuna grinding on each other, jessica and luna were making out on a couch but amber was nowhere to be seen. you'd texted, called, asked her friends about her but nobody seemed to know where she was. of course you were worried, who wouldn't be?, but there was nothing you could do. 

"stop moping." sulli mumbled into your ear, as she scooted past you, holding onto victoria's hand. "amber'll be here soon. she's probably buying you flowers or something, you know how cheesy she is." 

you nodded, that sounded like your girlfriend. but amber always texted back, that girl was always had her phone no matter what; so for her not to text was very strange. taking a few deep breaths, you tried to calm yourself down, taking a swig of alcohol. 

pushing past the dancing bodies you tried to get to the outside of the house, so you could get some air. it seemed impossible and krystal soon noticed your struggle and stopped dry humping her girlfriend and came over, attempting to help you out. it was as if she was moses, parting the red sea: the minute she stepped forward the crowd parted, everyone moving so she could get past. 

soon you were out of the house and into the fresh air. there were a few people outside, some just sitting on the steps talking, others kissing and a few passed out. you side stepped them all, and sat down the curb. it was silent for a few minutes before you heard the angry shouting of a neighbour. 

walking over you saw them screaming at your girlfriend, and holding a gun in their shaky hand. amber was backing up and so were the other teens behind her, all clearly frightened of this person. 

"sir?" you asked, trying to see which one of the neighbours it was. "is there a problem?" 

"yes!" he screeched, spinning around and you saw it was the neighbourhood annoyance: the one who constantly spent his time shouting at everyone and moaning about how he thought he was going to have a quiet retirement. "the music is too loud!" 

"okay, i'll turn it down sir." you offered, trying to make peace. "just put them gun down and let my friends pass, sir." 

"no!" he shook his head, his eyes darkening. behind him you saw amber take a step forward, tears welling up in her eyes, but you signalled for her to remain where she was. "turn it down first!" 

"please, sir." you took a step closer, "we'll shut down the party, just let the others go." 

"are you deaf?" he screeched, "turn it down now!" 

"alright, alright." you nodded, taking a few steps back, suddenly noticing how dire the situation had become. 

as you couldn't see what was behind you, you were relying on your memory. unfortunately you had completely forgotten the passed out teens lying around and fell over one of them, causing you to let out a screech. this scared the living shit out of your neighbour who fired shots. 

shots aimed at you. 

the teens behind him screamed, ducking for cover as amber began sprinting towards you. this scared the neighbour too, and he shot at her too. since she was a lot closer to him than you, she fell back instantly, and you knew in that moment that she had died. 

a scream left your lips, it was loud and alerted people in the house that something had happened and they soon began piling outside. the neighbour realised what he done and fell to the ground, as people ran out of the house to hold him down. your eyes started swimming, your heart race increasing as you saw the blood shooting out of your body. 

but you had something else on your mind: amber. 

"amber." you groaned, as a girl from your sociology class attempted to stop the blood escaping your body. "she's hurt, help her." 

the girl nodded but her eyes welled up and spoke for themselves, amber couldn't been helped: she was already gone. you shook your head, unable to speak, the pain becoming unbearable and in a matter of seconds, you were gone too.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> epilogue: you and amber receive your first assignments

"out of all the photos they could've used." amber huffed, stuffing her face with crisps and pointing angrily at the television set in front of you. 

the news was on, and the reporter was describing the murder of two teens on the west coast: the murder of you and amber. she babbled on about a party, a scared neighbour as comments poured in, expressing their sadness at the incident. a photo of the jung house emerged, and a mugshot of the neighbour soon followed. the photo then changed to one of you and amber that had been taken a few weeks prior, at the battle of the bands. 

"it's such an ugly photo." amber pouted as you giggled. "why do they keep showing it?" 

"if it's so ugly," you said, in between fits of laughter, "why don't you call them up and report it?" 

"and what am i going to say, baby?" amber mumbled, "hi, i'm amber liu and i know i'm dead and all, but you could please remove that ugly photo of me and replace it with something cuter? thank you!" 

you stared at her for a second before you burst into laughter, clutching your stomachs. the other angels in the room gave you strange looks, with one glaring at you. you flared back, wondering how someone so bitchy became a literal angel. but then you had no idea how you became on either — one minute you were bleeding out on the street, the next you were being embraced by amber with wings on your back. 

an older girl entered the room, and came over to you. her mouth curled slightly as she saw what you were watching, but she didn't comment on it and instead passed you both clipboards, waiting for you to read them before she spoke. 

"those are the humans you've been assigned to." she said, pointing at the clipboard. "they're going through a hard time now and i'm counting on you two to make things easier for them, alright? just help them along, be a guide for them but remember—"

"don't reveal yourself as an angel, blah blah." you repeated the constant instructions you heard everyday before you allowed to leave heaven. "we know." 

"you don't have to be so bitchy." she hissed, her golden eyes darkening. "hopefully working with these humans teaches your ungrateful ass a lesson." 

"bitch." you hissed, as she turned away, throwing the clipboard on the ground. 

"baby." amber whispered, her voice becoming strange and quiet as if she was nervous. 

"yes?" you looked over, confused. 

"pick up your clipboard and look at who we've been assigned to." she mumbled. 

you sighed, bending down to pick yours up. the clipboard showed a photo of krystal, her recent yearbook photo. it gave her name, and underneath it said: grieving over the death of her ex. your mouth became dry and you felt a familiar prick behind your eyes. 

"what does yours say?" you asked, knowing amber had read yours. 

"jessica jung." she whispered, "grieving over the death of her best friend."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so that it's it, breathe is over!!! sorry for the sad ending, all my fics in end in death, maybe i'll change that one day JEJRJGA. anyways i hope you all enjoyed this book: and please remember it's just fiction, and i absolutely love krystal, i don't think she'd ever be abusive to anyone at all!! if you have any questions just ask!! i love you all and i hope you enjoy 2018!


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